We had been in a rut.

Not doing much together. Not getting out of the house. Not even eating dinner as a family most nights.

Channing would eat downstairs by himself.

Rae would say she wasn’t hungry yet and then forget to eat until she woke up starving at 3 a.m.

Thy stayed in the room more than she wanted to.

Everything felt a little disconnected.

So when Thy said, “Let’s grill,” we all said yes.

We needed a change.

Not just a change of weather. A change of feeling. A reason to be together.

During the day, it almost felt like it might work. The air was crisp and fresh, carrying that faint promise of spring. The sun was out, and if you stood in it just right, it felt warm enough to believe.

I put on socks, shoes, a jacket.

Fifteen minutes later, I had Rae bring me a hoodie. I pulled my hands into the sleeves, zipped it up, pulled the hood over my head.

And I was still cold.

The kind of cold that seeps in and doesn’t leave. My hands started hurting from Raynaud’s. My body doesn’t regulate temperature well, and once I get cold, it takes a long time to warm up.

I tried to stick it out anyway.

I knew Royce wanted to play in the yard. We all wanted to be out there. I didn’t want to be the reason we gave up.

But the second the sun started dropping, the warmth disappeared fast. Enough to remind you it’s only March.

Eventually I said it.

“I can’t take this anymore. I’m going inside.”

Not dramatic. Just honest.

A little disappointment came with it. Not because anything went wrong. Just the quiet realization that it wasn’t going to be what we wanted it to be.

The older kids brought Royce in. Thy stayed outside, going back and forth to the grill, finishing what she started.

Dinner still had to get made.

Inside, the house was warm in a way that settled into your body. The smell of charcoal followed Thy in every time she opened the door. Rae talking nonstop. Royce laughing while Channing played with him. The TV on in the background, the way Thy likes it.

Nothing big.

Just us.

Thy came in with the food. Chicken wings, sausage, pineapple. Rice in bowls. Sitting together in the living room.

It wasn’t what we planned.

But it was what we needed.

We didn’t fix the weather.

We didn’t get the perfect night outside.

But we got out of the rut.

We ate together.

We laughed.

We showed up.

We weren’t trying to grill dinner.

We were trying to feel like a family again.