Becoming Someone I Don’t Have to Recover From

I used to think healing meant getting back to who I was.

Now I know it means becoming someone I can live with

without apologizing for what it costs to exist in this body.

I don’t miss my old capacity as much as I used to.

I miss the convenience, the ease, the automatic yes.

But I do not miss who I had to be to survive that pace.

She stayed busy so she wouldn’t feel.

She stayed strong so no one would see the cracks.

She mistook exhaustion for purpose.

I honor her.

I am grateful she got me here.

But I do not want to be her again.

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The End of Self Abandonment

The longer I live at this new speed,

the more I understand that healing is not a return to strength.

It is the end of self abandonment.

I am not healed because I became unstoppable.

I am healed because I finally stopped pretending I was.

There is a different kind of power in knowing your limits.

In living inside your real capacity.

In choosing peace instead of performance.

It may not look impressive.

But it is mine.

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I Don’t Need to Be Understood to Be Whole

I do not need anyone to understand my pace.

I no longer explain it, defend it, or translate it.

If someone only respected me when I was overextending myself,

they never respected me.

They respected the performance.

I am not here to be the memory of who I was.

I am here to be faithful to who I am now.

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Learning How to Live

I spent years learning survival.

Now I am learning to live.

Not loudly.

Not quickly.

But fully.

The world romanticizes the comeback story,

as if the goal is to outrun the pain and prove the body wrong.

But I did not come back.

I changed shape.

I built a life I don’t have to recover from,

one that doesn’t use me up as the price of being included,

a life with room for breath, for softness, for joy that does not hurt.

That is not settling.

That is arriving.

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I Am Not Behind

I am not behind.

I am becoming.

I am not less.

I am rooted.

I am not unfinished.

I am finally intact in a way that does not require performance to be believed.

I am not returning to the life that broke me.

I am not finished healing.

But I am beginning a life I do not have to recover from.

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If this found you somewhere in your own becoming, feel free to share it or leave your thoughts below.

You are not alone in learning how to live at a pace your body can survive.

Mimi ❤️🌿