Why We Left Public School

Our homeschooling journey didn’t begin with picture-perfect lesson plans or a carefully chosen curriculum. It began with heartbreak and with the simple truth that protecting our kids was nonnegotiable.

I was homeschooled myself and loved the experience, but I made a different choice for my own family. I valued the time and freedom that came when my kids were in school, and with my chronic illness, the idea of managing homeschooling on top of everything else felt impossible. For years, they attended school with accommodations and IEP support, and they were doing well in that environment. But when we moved back to the Quad Cities, everything changed.

When Safety Wasn’t Guaranteed

In just two short years at their new schools, both of my children experienced harm no child should ever face. For their privacy, I won’t share details, but I will say this: they were hurt at school, by other students, and the systems meant to protect them failed.

We went to the school. We went to law enforcement. We went to child protective services. And each time, we were met with closed doors. Because my children are neurodivergent, living with autism and ADHD, they were especially vulnerable to being targeted, manipulated, and misunderstood.

Why Neurodivergence Left Them More Exposed

Part of what made my kids vulnerable is that autism and ADHD can make it harder for children to protect themselves in unsafe situations. Neurodivergent kids may struggle to put confusing or scary experiences into words, and if they can’t explain clearly, adults often dismiss what they’re trying to say. Many are also very trusting or literal, which can make it easier for peers to manipulate them.

Like so many kids who just want to fit in, they may tolerate things they shouldn’t, or mask their discomfort to avoid standing out. In moments of distress, they might freeze, shut down, or melt down instead of immediately telling an adult. Without training and experience in neurodiversity, schools and other systems often misinterpret those signals and miss the harm happening right in front of them. That misunderstanding left my children exposed and ultimately unprotected.

The Choice to Homeschool

When the system failed my children, I knew I had no choice but to bring them home. Their safety had to come first. I knew I could give them a quality education while protecting them from further harm.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a lot to take on. Homeschooling while living with chronic illness is demanding. Doing it as a low-income family, without the option to simply buy into accredited online programs, adds even more weight. But resilience is sometimes nothing more than showing up, tired and hurting, and doing what needs to be done. Their right to learn in safety mattered more than any barrier in front of me.

Homeschooling has become more than academics for us. It’s about rebuilding trust. It’s about creating an environment where my children’s neurodiversity isn’t a weakness to be exploited but a strength to be nurtured. It’s about offering them freedom to grow at their own pace, with the dignity and protection every child deserves.

How the System Failed Us

One of the most painful realities of this journey is how often harm against children is dismissed, especially when the perpetrators are also children. Because the ones who hurt my kids were peers, the school system, DCFS, and law enforcement treated these crimes against my children as insignificant — as if harm by another student didn’t matter.

The school told us to involve DCFS. DCFS told us they couldn’t act because the abuse didn’t originate inside our home or family, and they directed us to call the police. The police told us they couldn’t help either and suggested we ask DCFS to provide counseling for the perpetrators instead.

On top of that, the school refused to remove the perpetrators, telling us that “everyone is entitled to a free public education” and unless those students were found guilty in court, they had a right to be there regardless of their actions.

At every turn, responsibility was pushed onto another agency, and no one was willing to protect my children. Because the school refused to protect them, I took action to stand up for them myself and submitted a withdrawal letter so I could homeschool. But adding insult to injury, the school refused to accept my letter and had me escorted from the building by police.

Harm by another student is still harm. Trauma doesn’t matter less just because it came from a peer.

This is a group of victims too often ignored. They deserve justice and protection, but again and again they are denied both. Someone has to stand up for them, and too often it is only the parents left carrying that fight.

Moving Forward, Together

Homeschooling wasn’t the easy choice, but it was the necessary one. Chronic illness makes it complicated. Juggling daily lessons and extensive doctors’ appointments with limited energy isn’t simple. But none of those challenges compare to the cost of leaving my kids in a system that failed them.

At home, my children are safe. They don’t have to sit across from those who hurt them, and they don’t have to fight to be believed. They can learn, heal, and grow without fear hanging over every school day.

And homeschooling hasn’t just protected them, it’s allowed them to thrive. My son is making improvements by leaps and bounds as a homeschooled student. I created a plan tailored to his needs and give him the one-on-one time he needs to succeed. My daughter has firmed up plans for community college and is preparing to begin CNA classes when she turns 16, a step toward her goal of studying physical or occupational therapy. She will be ready to begin as soon as she turns 18 and becomes eligible for financial aid.

Homeschooling comes with challenges, but it has also come with incredible benefits. I get to support my kids not only by keeping them safe, but also by guiding them toward their futures. That safety, that progress, is something no system gave them. So I had to.

Our resilience doesn’t erase the failures of the system, but it proves what parents will do when left with no choice. No parent should be forced into the position of pulling their children out of school just to keep them safe. And no child should ever be dismissed or denied justice simply because the one who harmed them was also a student. My children were failed by the school system, by DCFS, and by the police. Children deserve protection. Families deserve better.

Mimi 🌿❤️

Note: A shorter version of this story was submitted as an op-ed to the Quad City Times. I believe these conversations matter beyond my own family, and I’ll continue sharing both here on Midwest Mimi and in public forums where parents, educators, and communities can listen and learn.